‘We’re going to the theatre, dahling,’ you declare to your butler, readjusting your monocle and extinguishing your cigar in the silver ashtray they’ve provided you.
‘Oh, I forgot to mention,’ you continue, slapping your butler in the face every now and again as a mark of superiority, ‘The theatre we’re going to, dahling, is 789 miles away so you’ll have to make arrangements, and I want to be there by tomorrow.’
You watch and laugh as your butler runs from the room, his panic stricken face subdued by sheer professionalism. As we all know, last minute bookings are a headache that not even paracetamol can hold at bay.
Picking up your corgi and licking it with your lizard tongue, you realize you’ve asked the impossible of your poor old butler. Perhaps he’ll come a cropper and beg for forgiveness at your feet. There’s every chance he’ll resign, you think to yourself. How delightful.
But that Jeeves looking kind of guy is more industrious than you might think, and he’ll get you to the theatre on time with these invaluable travel tips.
Find the right parking
First off, Jeeves is no fool. He understands that, if he wants his mistress to remain stress-free, he’ll need to have her dropped off directly at the terminal before her flight. That means private valet parking from the crème de la crème of parking companies.
For our money, and for Jeeves’s, the best of the best is Looking4.com, an airport parking price comparison site that’s easy to use and doesn’t gouge its customers. It’s based in many US airports and has a superfluity of customer reviews that attest to its outstanding quality.
Book the right hotel
Unlike you, Jeeves understands the balance between quality and price when it comes to hotels – and he knows exactly where to find it.
A delicate middle ground is needed, especially if you’re hoping to be situated near the theatre. Our top recommendation goes to Hotel Tonight for its large onsite map which will help situate you in even the most unrecognizable city.
Exceptional pre-theatre dining
Food is the bedrock of any good journey. It’s what keeps us alive, when all’s said and done, so we might as well enjoy the process with a bit of panache.
If the theatre your mistress has chosen doesn’t provide food, check TripAdvisor for the best restaurants in the area. From there, you’ll be able to track down the menu and see if it’s up to par.
The best seats in the house
Theatre seating is a fine art. Sit too close to the front and your wallet will have a panic attack. Sitting at the back is cheaper but might reduce the impact of the show.
Find a middle ground and that trip to the theatre will go off without a hitch. No one’s handing in a resignation letter any time soon.
That’s our list! Can you think of any suggestions of your own? Then let us know in the comments below!