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Ask Sam: I Gave Up My Apartment For You!

Ask Sam: I Gave Up My Apartment For You!

Our personal lair gives us sanctuary, even Batman had his cave. Living alone in Gotham is tough, living with somebody else even tougher. For most of us thanks to the  price of exorbitant rent, i living in Manhattan due to the exorbitant rent, is beng willing to live in a teeny tiny shoebox apartment. After you finally have your shoebox the way you want it, you fall in love… so you give up your shoebox, to move into theirs. This is when problems can start. Your personal space is your piece of the rock. Its where you get to be you without filter or apologies. Over 50% of all marriages fail. I wonder if that percentage is higher in urban areas where people live in close quarters? It’s best to love somebody an awful lot if your going to share an apartment with them. There’s no place to run, nowhere to escape when you have a fight, you can’t slam the door and march into the other room. Especially if you are sharing a studio. Some people can’t even choose to sleep on the sofa, because the sofa is the pullout, where you already sleep. You loved your bachelor/bachelorette pad and making the adjustments to cohabitation is difficult. Of course it’s difficult, we live in a city where something that was once a walk in closet now gets sold to us as one bedroom! Breath deep. Keeping some mystique in close quarters can be next to impossible. The question becomes, how to make it all work?

New York City is a breeding ground for unconventional relationships by virtue of its living conditions. Well respected architect, Jeffrey Drucker told me that when he was in school, he had an assignment to design a home which would induce a couple to argue. Not enough closet space, cabinets that are too high, no room for people’s things etc. In theory, if a bad design can test a relationship to its limits, then surely the opposite must be true that cohabitational bliss can happen through intelligent design.

Have you ever had a friendship sour because you became roommates or moved in with a significant other to find that living with them was impossible? It could be that it wasn’t them and it wasn’t you, it might’ve been your apartment!

You’re a neat freak and he leaves his socks all over the floor. Solution, get a maid service.

You rise at dawn for your 3 mile run. He works the night shift. He’s kosher, your vegan what will you you eat together apart from salad?

You need to pick and choose your battles.

Your tastes are different and you might be thinking, “What taste? They don’t have any!” Remain calm and try to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Hire a professional to help you blend your esthetics and minimize quarreling.

Your home is important it’s your oasis in this asphalt jungle, a refuge from the rush. Home can and should be delicious even if your matchbox resembles a cave, it can still be lovely.

The effort you make in making your home lovely might also save your relationship in the long run and is well worth the effort.

Organization is key.

Rule number one eliminate as much stuff as possible. This does not mean throw out all his stuff, (even if you want to), but rather that you each edit your own belongings to the best of your abilities and help each other with suggestions and moral support.

One of the hardest, andbest things I ever did was get rid of all of my stuff. So difficult that

I now get a little hesitant about acquiring new stuff. But the blending of more than one person in an apartment requires editing and acquiring some new things for the greater good of those dwelling there.

First excavate, then edit, rearrange and finally organize, then organize some more and when you think you’ve maximized  your use of space, chances are you you can do better.

How will you merge?  Go shopping together-great excuse for post shopping guacamole and tequila.

Respect things that are dear to each other like your shoe collection, his baseball cards, Xbox and other gadgets.

In the city where we live to work, rather than work to live it’s important that you make “live” as blissful as possible.

Ask Sam

Samantha von Sperling is a lifestyle guru who has spent her entire career going above and beyond to help her clients achieve their goals. “When asked what I do, I will tell you that I “Spit shine” people and things for a living. My arsenal of expertise helps smooth out the rough spots, whether it’s your look, the space you inhabit, or how you interact with the world around you. Our goal is to help you feel more comfortable in your skin and confident in your ability to handle any social situation with panache! Keen insight and fresh perspective is the first step to attaining your goal. Everything in life at some level is a matter of packaging and a game of seduction, a new job, a step up a ladder, the winning over of clients and friends or the conquest of your desire. Tell me what you want, what you need, even if it seems trivial, personal or impossible. If I can’t help you, I’ll tell you. If I can, it shall be done.” Samantha was raised in a sophisticated family where entertaining international guests was de rigueur; refined manners, elegant dress, proper posture, the art of conversation, and ballroom dancing are second nature to her. Her education is a continuation of a lifelong passion for the arts and a foundation for her business. Armed with a degree from New York University in Educational Theatre with a concentration in Speech Communications – also a classically trained ballroom dancer and actress – von Sperling set out the offer the world a new approach to the old concept of finishing. She uses her diverse talents through innovative group seminars or with one-on-one consultations. By utilizing all her skills and training, von Sperling has fulfilled requests from royal families, diplomats, politicians, celebrities, CEOs, companies big and small, regular joes, and soccer moms. Ms. von Sperling has appeared in print publications such as The New York Times, TIME Magazine, O The Oprah Magazine, Bloomberg Businessweek, and The Wall Street Journal, to name a few. She appears as a guest expert on numerous television programs, and currently contributes as ImageGal for and writes her own column, “Ask Sam” for Time Square Chronicles which she counts amongst her great joys in life. Samantha von Sperling from POLISHED Social Image Consultants has been on the forefront of the image consulting industry for a decade, helping to bring out the best in you – from the boardroom to the ballroom.

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