Gemma’s Gem of the Week: Practicing Detachment in Relationships

Growing up around an array of films swirling with love affairs and partnerships where so and so cannot live without so and so, detachment can seem a tad lost to the surface. Honeymoon phases and early stages of meeting new people are deeply valuable experiences, and practicing detachment can heighten this even moreso.

When we’re less attached to situations and people, this does not mean we care less, love less, or are “shutting off our emotions,” for lack of a better phrase. In fact, being less attached leaves room for growth in many ways. We will be more prone to leaving time for development in our own lives, careers, and daily endeavors, while still allowing time for love and relationships.

This in return creates a foundation of understanding towards our friends and loved ones, supporting that they also have lives to live, and this can naturally strengthen these relationships. 

When we’re overly attached, there is often a lot of underlying fear fueling those decisions. These fears can be linked to worries of things not working out, not being good enough, or a focus on the “lack” of. It can be very easy to form this desire to focus all of our lives on someone else, which in many cases is only natural, because when are we taught not to do that?

Maybe we hold on so tightly to the relationships around us because we’re afraid of losing the connection altogether. And, if you’re someone who cares and feels deeply, it might feel natural to want to invest as much as you can in your relationships.

You can still invest and feel deeply for others without sacrificing space to maintain a life of your own. 

Practicing detachment in relationships establishes a foundation of trust, space, and room to grow, while nourishing connections that are healthier, calmer, and more fulfilling.