I’m tired. Anyone else? After almost two years undergoing collective trauma, I’ve seen (and personally experienced) a lot of anxiety reflecting on this year. Today, Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, wrote:
“We’re in productivity detox right now. That’s why we feel itchy and worthless. But wait it out. Be still. It’s good. We’re remembering our inherent worth.”
And she’s right.
This morning, I did not want to get out of bed. I woke up sluggish and exhausted, despite getting 8 hours of sleep. A couple hours rolled by, and my body was adamant on morphing into a sloth – so I decided to feel better.
Begrudgingly, I rolled out of bed. I slowly peeled off the comfy clothes that wanted to cling onto my body for dear life, practically yelling, “Nooo Gemma, don’t leave us!” But I let them go, changed into workout clothes, and turned on a workout video. Even if it’s the last thing I feel like doing, movement never fails to boost my mood.
10 minutes into the video, I experienced a physical and mental release, a sense of control, and was more present and awake.
When I’m racing against time, rushing out the door, working multiple jobs and worrying about the past/present/future, I’m not always able to be as conscious with myself as I’d like to be. In this slower moment, I was able to listen to my body and pay attention to her needs.
After the workout ended, my phone was buzzing with friends and loved ones, and I was so thankful for the present. What helped me today was realizing what I do have: being home without a schedule, sleeping in, and spending time with my friends and family. Holding onto that was motivation to keep going.
There are so many victories in the little things we tend to overlook, because they’re not dripping in glitter and stars and fireworks. Existing at the end of the day throughout all of this, while still maintaining and developing meaningful relationships with others and ourselves – that’s pretty damn incredible.
And that’s not inherently tied to a resolution; that’s more of a reflection.
Go easy on yourself. Take your time this year.
Song of the Week: “People, I’ve Been Sad” – Christine and the Queens