Pain, anger, anxiety, confusion, sadness, and frustration. These are all the possible feelings you’re likely to get upon discovering your girlfriend is cheating on you. You want to know why, yet you want to go atomic. Sometimes you want to be as far away from her as possible, yet it’s not unusual to feel a void in this. It’s also natural to feel the urge to turn on your “cheating beast mode” so you can even up things. But one thing is for sure – the steps you take after that can make or break the relationship. Better yet, it can be good or bad a move in your case! Opinions and reactions may vary and differ from one man to another, but for the sake of those seeking some tips, here’s how to deal with a cheating girlfriend the mature way.
Confirm Your Findings
Relationships are sometimes plain right difficult, especially when there are trust issues. And since we’re human, it’s also not out of this earth to assume that your GF is cheating on you just because you saw a few flirty chats or text messages on her phone accidentally. You could have also heard the news that your GF is cheating on you from someone else – who may actually not have your best interests at heart. If you caught her kissing another man or caught them in bed, that’s another story, but if you’re not completely sure, it’s always important to confirm the rumors or your findings. You could do this by discussing it with them politely, rather than confronting them. And if they’re cheating, there’s a significant chance that she’ll also exhibit some common signs of cheating, such as:
- Diminished attention and affection
- She suddenly becomes more secretive with her schedules
- The time she had for you reduces
- She’s more secretive with her phone
- She constantly complains
- Dwindling commitment
Since most women will never agree to cheating, some guys take it a notch further and employer professionals that specialize in catching and busting cheating partners. The best way to do it will largely depend on you and what you have going on.
Reevaluate The Relationship
If you’ve invested a lot of your time and resources in a relationship, nothing can be more frustrating than the realization that your partner is cheating on you. But the big question to ask yourself upon discovering that she’s cheating is, do you still love her? Better yet, do you want to continue with the relationship? Sam Romero, a relationship coach from the Get Her Back Guide says that dealing with cheating can be a horrible experience, especially if it’s someone you really love. It’s even worse if she cheats on you with a guy she had met before you two started dating. Whichever the case, however, you’ll want to reevaluate the relationship and decide whether or not you still want to save it. While weighing the pros and cons of saving the relationship, you may want to ask yourself questions like:
- How long have we been together?
- How special is she to me?
- Can I ever trust her again?
- Can she manage to rebuild trust?
- Can I do comfortably without her?
Your answers to these questions can help you make an informed decision on whether to break up with her or forgive her and save the relationship.
Understand It Wasn’t Your Fault
While you might have made a few relationship mistakes that ended driving her away, it’s only noble for her to face you and tell you that she’s seeing someone else or that she feels it’s not working out. Going behind your back is betrayal and it’s the sole reason why the experience can be so painful for some guys. Once you discover that she’s cheating, it will help you to realize that it’s not your fault she cheated. Blaming yourself for her mistake will only make things worse for you. No matter how painful it may feel, realizing that it’s her problem will help in your healing journey and you’ll have it easier moving on. It may also prevent you from bringing the pain and trust issues into your next relationship if you decide to break it off.
If you decide to forgive her, it’s important to note that the human side of you may not allow you to go back right on to trusting her. Of course, you’ll have suspicions here and there. However, you’ll need to maintain positive energy and try your best not to raise the issue in your relationship past reconciliation. On the other hand, if you decided to break up with her, it’s healthier to move on from the experience while avoiding making mistakes (in your control) that you thought could have made your lady end up in the arms of another man.
We live in a world where trust is built and respect is earned. When lost, these things are extremely difficult to regain. It can be really frustrating to discover that your girlfriend is cheating on you, but with the above few tips, you now know how to deal with it better and in a more civilized way. At the end of the day, your happiness and self-esteem are what matter most guys!