Ask Sam: Hey You Never Know

Every New Year promises a fresh start. We often delude ourselves with the madness of New Year’s resolutions and hope that this year is going to be our year! We will lose weight, read more, quit a habit, get organized, learn another language, make more money and have greater success. Yet, we continue to do all the same things the way we always do, expecting a different result.

If we had figured out how to make these improvements we would have done it already. We fail because we are unwilling to make drastic life changes and somehow expect things to turn out differently.

Step away from your life for a moment until the whole picture comes clearly into view. If you can detach your feelings from your objective, you might be able to see that things can be amazing! Goals can be achieved and happy endings are possible.  Maybe it does not quite look like what we thought it had to be, but perhaps its something new and different and even better. Hey, you never know!

Through a series of events, I found myself having the rare experience of going, “off the grid.” Hackers had crippled my website. Dramatic changes were required. I decided I was going to make a run for it and flee what I felt had become an abusive relationship between me and NYC. I am the kind of woman that demands attention, love, and respect. It was time to go.

Sometimes you have to have the balls to tell New York to “Kiss your ass.” Turn on your stilettos and storm out like a jilted lover slamming the door behind you. It might be the scariest thing you ever do. Do it anyway.

Like one of Fran Dresher’s characters, opening up a beauty salon amidst the palm trees would be my future.

A friend took over my apartment. I sold, tossed and gave away my stuff. I even went through the exorbitant expense of shipping what remained of my belongings to the the other side of the woirld. Then, I closed out my affairs as if preparing for my own death, said my goodbye and fled. I left the country, escaping the winter darkness for dazzling sunlight to start over. I arrived in a magical place far away to start a new life.

Here’s what I learned: Simplifying your life to its essentials can be very freeing. You can live with far less than you imagined. When you close all the doors, new ones open.

A cosmic chain reaction occurs when we dare to do things differently.

Upon freeing yourself from things that drain you, space is created and the universe quickly sends you new possibilities.

One day, one action, can change your life. If there is a part of you that can still access the emotion of love, be open to it. I didn’t believe happy endings really existed yet, my radical actions produced the gift of love. When we are happy, building a life that interests us, everything changes. The weight comes off, opportunities appear, even love can find us. The future, the one that you ceased to dream of, might be around the corner. It may not even be the new life you ran to but something unexpected. Happiness can come in surprising forms. Just because it’s not what you imagined doesn’t mean its not fabulous. You can creat a new life for yourself, you can! Just be willing to clean out your junk actual, emotional and metaphysical.  Totally worth the further extortion of having to shlep all my stuff back to New York since it came to me bearing flowers and the promise of all that I wanted, begging my return.

This Valentine’s Day don’t get your nickers in a twist because you don’t have a date. Love yourself first.

Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Hire a trainer, go to a spa or salon, buy a ticket to Miami for the weekend to get out of winter’’s frigidness. Sighs up for a class. Plan an adventure. Do something fun!

Health, wealth and even love are possible. Just like playing the lottery, you have to buy a ticket for a chance to win.